Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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