I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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