Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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