butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
