Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
