idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
