my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
my being single is dangerous.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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