But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize