Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
