im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
she looked like the before picture.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize