So drunk its hurt
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
