Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
A+ Viking dick
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize