I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
