i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
