Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
everyone is single if you try hard enough
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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