just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
