I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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