you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
