so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
