So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize