I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
