After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
No subtext here. People are naked.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You've changed since you got that strap on
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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