I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Randomize
