We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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