so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize