Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry phmsmusic hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(314): View more from Missouri

Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?

Fav 89 1262 12811
share tweet
(410): View more from Maryland

Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together

Fav 12 5651 1486
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(907): View more from Alaska

It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.

Fav 36 1359 5961
share tweet
(703): View more from Virginia

well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too

Fav 18 7060 1150
share tweet
(732): View more from New Jersey

I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower

Fav 43 1601 20273
share tweet
(913): View more from Kansas

How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.

(913): View more from Kansas

1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me

Fav 12 3741 1111
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(847): View more from Illinois

I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.

Fav 2 1130 846
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(812): View more from Indiana

I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it

Fav 1 55 19
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(773): View more from Illinois

So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.

Fav 0 63 9
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT