ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize