Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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