OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
BRING THE BAGELS
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
