super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
