ugly people sure do ruin things
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize