Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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