to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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