OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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