It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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