But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Randomize
