return my video game
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
