So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
