Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Say something about gay babies.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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