i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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