so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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