MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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