I just cut my nipple shaving
no. you can't hotbox the world.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
