i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
