If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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