even my farts smell like vagina
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
