brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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