The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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