Your mouth is God's brothel.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize