We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
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