their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Randomize
