rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
