FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
