there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
