Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
