Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
